


Harley Street

by pozorvlak



Series: Jeeves and Wooster crossovers [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Jeeves & Wooster, Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Psychologists & Psychiatrists
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 12:13:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7684129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pozorvlak/pseuds/pozorvlak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gussie seeks counselling for his relationship difficulties, but his usual psychiatrist has been replaced by one with a much less conventional approach.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Harley Street

“Do come in, Mr Fink-Nottle.” She looked down at the notes in her lap. “Gussie.”

“Oh, er, hello,” he said. “I was expecting to see Sir Roderick…”

“Sir Roderick is unfortunately ill; he’s asked me to cover his appointments while he recovers. I’m Dr Quinzel, but please call me Harley.”

“Harley Quinzel? But aren’t you…”

“My other career ended a long time ago, Gussie, and I’ve been pronounced cured by Sir Roderick himself.” Her hand pointed imperiously at a framed diploma on the wall, reading

Dr Harleen Frances Quinzel

is hereby declared

**SANE**

Sir Roderick Glossop

(the last line in rather shaky handwriting).

“But if you don’t feel comfortable with me and would rather see another psychiatrist, I could certainly refer you?”

“No, no, that’s quite all right. I say, those are unusual dogs! What breed are they? African wild - “

“Hyenas.”

“Oh, I say! You’re a good boy, aren’t you? Yes you are!”

“That one’s a girl.”

“Oh, of course, the females have pseudophalluses, don’t they? Fascinating animals. Do you need a special license to keep them?”

Ignoring the question, she looked back down at the notes.

“So Gussie, it says here that you live alone in the countryside - “

“Oh, not alone, I live with my newts.”

“Yes, I see you have several publications in the herpetological literature. Are you a biologist by training, Gussie?”

“No, no, just sort of picked it up, really. Newts are jolly fascinating.”

“And you prefer countryside living?”

“Oh, rather. London’s so noisy and full of bright lights, and it’s hard to keep to a routine here.”

“I must say I find it rather sedate after Gotham, but how could I not warm to a town that named a whole street after me?” She flashed Gussie a smile. On Gussie’s notes, under where Sir Roderick had written _possible ASD?_ she wrote _Hell yes._

“Now Gussie, I understand that you’ve had difficulty forming and maintaining relationships, especially with women, and this is causing you distress?”

Gussie nodded.

“Your notes mention a _fiancée_ , Madeline - are you still together?”

“Well, it’s sort of complicated - she’s convinced that my pal Bertie is in love with her, and - I say, this is rather a long story, you know...“

“That’s quite all right, please go on.”

“Well, I suppose things started to go wrong when I gave that dashed speech to Market Snodsbury Grammar School, and rather overdid it on the whisky beforehand. That was the first time Madeline broke off our engagement.”

“I’m sorry, the _first_ time?”

“That’s right. She’s broken it off, oh, I don’t know, three or four times now.”

“Hmmmm. Please continue.”

“And then there was that business with the cow-creamer at Totleigh Towers - “

“I’m sorry, Gussie, the business with the what?”

“Cow-creamer. Sort of a cream jug thing, in the shape of a cow. Sir Watkyn, Madeline’s father, collects old silver, and Bertie tried to steal it for his uncle Tom Travers, who also collects old silver, and then that blighter Spode was around, and - ”

“So this was a theft to order? Old silver can be hard to fence, I’ve heard. So many modern Dutch imitations flooding the market. But if he had a buyer lined up... What kind of security system does Sir Watkyn use? Lasers? Floor sensors? Alarms?”

“I don't remember anything like that, just Spode with a poker threatening to beat me to a jelly. And I had that notebook full of stinkers about Sir Watkyn and Spode, and Stiffy was holding it hostage, and then Spode found it, and was threatening to beat me to a jelly _again_ , and…”

“That all sounds extremely distressing, Gussie. But I’d like to circle back a moment before carrying on. It seems like your relationship with Madeline’s family is strained, and that in turn is placing a strain on your relationship with Madeline?”

Gussie nodded enthusiastically.

“I find that collections can give a great insight into the mind of a collector. You and Sir Watkyn are both collectors; perhaps comparing your collections and your approaches to your collections can give us some insight into the deeper problems underlying your lack of connection with your prospective father-in-law. Now, Gussie, tell me everything you can remember about Sir Watkyn’s old silver…”


End file.
